Family Constellations

I have mentioned before how asking questions pertaining to your outside reality, your relationships, your experiences and dramas can help you navigate our 3D hologram called reality. As you begin to mature as a soul, you begin to notice that there are more layers to existence. Younger souls do not have the luxury of pondering such profound questions as “why am I here” or “why is this happening to me?” Young souls are usually born into environments where they are challenged to meet the physical demands of survival, such as finding adequate food and learning to live in simpler social contexts.

You have been drawn to this article because you are growing up.  You are seeking something beyond your next meal, your next pleasure sensation, your job.  Therefore, I ask you now to take a deep breath and face your family.  The first place to start, if you are curious about your life plan in this incarnation, is your family.

The relationships we form on this planet throughout our incarnations and different family constellations are what help us to evolve most.  The family is the first social dynamic we are born into and it is with these people that we have the strongest social bond, through our blood and genes. Therefore, it can be argued that within the family dynamic lies the greatest opportunity for spiritual growth in our current incarnation. Our families have such importance in all cultures, at all stages of our lives, at any age, we are always bonded in some way with our families. That being said, we cannot not overstate the importance of questioning these ties and their deeper significance. Did we choose our family members before we incarnated? I for one am convinced that we choose our family members for what they can reflect to us in terms of values, emotional patterns and spiritual lessons. They also offer to us layered dynamics for healing.

How many times have you heard yourself saying to a friend, “Man, that´s fucked up” when she was recalling to you her family problems?  That´s what I thought. The people you surround yourself with as friends are often at a similar soul age as you and can also help to reflect just what needs to be focused on in this incarnation to mature and become more multi-dimensional.  In the article “Compassionate Perspective”,  you were introduced to the concept of addressing someone´s personality instead of their role as father, brother, sister or mother.  Now that you can separate the two, I am going to ask you to again consider the family role, but from another angle.  How has the family member role added a layer to your learning curve?

Soul maturity is about layers and any homeopath worth his salt will tell you that healing occurs in layers.  In this article we look at not only the individual layer, but the family dynamic,  and how the constellation or the arrangement of these incarnating souls itself is a tool for spiritual growth.   Family constellations are supercharged in that all members involved have the opportunity for growth in more ways than, for example, just two people in a relationship.  Let us consider a small family of three.  Below you can see exactly how each member can interact with the other.

Mother with daughter/ wife with husband/ mother-wife with husband and daughter together.

Daughter with mother/ daughter with father/ daughter with mother and father together.

Father with daughter/ husband and wife/ father-husband with wife and daughter together.

Already we have 9 different soul dynamics.  Remember that father with the daughter is from the point of view of the father, i.e. his issues with his daughter.  The dynamic of the daughter with the father is from her standpoint and is a separate layer.

The first step to appreciating the spiritual value of your family dynamic is to look at your individual family members as mirrors. Each one reflects certain belief systems, values, talents, compulsions and defensive behaviors (often carried over from past incarnations). Ask yourself, what negative traits did my mother mirror? What positive traits did she reflect back to me? What can I learn from these observations?

In some cultures it is considered rude to question your parents and the child is expected to hand over all authority and respect to the parent because the parent gave the gift of life to the child. This is a guilt mechanism which rather than explores the bond of love between parent and child perpetuates a cycle of resentment and manipulation down the generations.  For those caught in this kind of dynamic, the guilt trip can be so extreme that one of the parents has to die before the child is even able to fully begin to experiment with spiritual growth.

We must find the individual strength to examine one´s relatives objectively and honestly in order to benefit from them.  Family constellations are not randomly selected and arranged! They are agreed to prior to incarnation with the view to all souls connected being able to work out their most pressing spiritual issues.

One´s refusal to see beyond the victim role in the dynamic will stunt or retard spiritual growth to the extent that one must again re-incarnate in a similar constellation to be able to learn from it! It is therefore important to look at your role from different angles, keeping in mind that you may be acting out a seemingly negative dynamic for someone else´s benefit.  Ask yourself, how is my “role” affecting their spiritual growth? Am I in fact playing the role of a teacher?

I recently heard the story of a son who was supposed to be aborted by his mother, yet aborting the son would surely have killed the mother due to complications of her already having had several abortions.  The mother-son dynamic was ridden with guilt.  Understandably, the statement “I wanted to abort you but you saved my life” deeply confused the son and his role play with his mother.

What might help, however is to acknowledge that the burden of growth mostly lies with the mother. The son´s role is to learn to separate love of his mother from love for himself. He needs to learn that his self worth is not tied into his mother´s resentment of him, which has nothing to do with him as a person but the role he chose as “her son”.  The son in this dynamic performs a function for the mother to face her own issues of how she undervalues life, especially if you take into account her previous abortions. The son volunteered for this position, in an act of deep spiritual sacrifice prior to incarnation. His taking on any of his mother´s guilt, even of her inability to resolve the issue, is misplaced.  He is the older soul, providing his mother with a learning dynamic, and if he could see himself in this master role,  it would in time give him the emotional separation he needs to heal his feelings of unworthiness.  This is a good example of how the family dynamic provides opportunity for healing for more than one person.

And if I wanted even more confirmation that this soul´s current most pressing issue is self-love and self-acceptance, I would look to the other members of the family. Their behavior towards me, their projections and refelctions will let me know.  So I did. I asked about the siblings. Sure enough, both siblings do not accept this soul´s personality or value system.  They belittle him and explicitly reflect the issue that most needs to be healed. “We don´t love you”, they say.  Once the soul can gain the self confidence to love himself despite this resistance, these apparitions will cease. It is not enough to just continue to walk your own path when others disapprove, you must also believe that you are doing what is best for you and that you are perfect the way you are.

Opportunities for self-healing come to us in difficult guises.  Life is indeed, a grand stage.

Do you have questions about your family constellation?  Briefly describe the facts or imbalances (not your interpretations at this stage, please), and I´ll leave a reply.

Love Croaker


The Bike Story

How do you know that Spirit is real? How can you prove that there is any intelligent design to life and its meanderings? This is the “Bike Story”, one of the most dramatic events in my life, uncensored, put out here in cyberspace for your entertainment. It was the event that proved to me the existence of intelligent design, of what I first understood as karma, or the boomerang effect, and how I did in fact, contrary to my stubborn desire to remain a spiritual child, have control over my “reality”.  Life wasn´t just happening to me, I concluded.  It was manifesting what I was thinking and charging emotionally.

Questioning our environment helps us to mature emotionally. This is how it works, down here in our three dimensional hologram on Earth that we call “reality”: as part of the hologram, our inner environment is reflected in our outer envrionment. Now I know there are lots of books about how you can manifest your own reality by focusing on holding a thought charged with an emotion, and more recently, reports “the observer effect”, in which the outcome of scientific experiments are manipulated by the expectations of the observer. These are all valid expressions of the laws of our holographic reality.  Today I´d like to share how I came to know that our actions and behavior directly influence what happens to us. This is known to my friends as “The Bike Story”.

In 1998 I was living in Montreal at the tail end of my university studies and I was working as an English teacher part-time.  This is part of my personal history that I´m not always comfortable sharing because I went through a rather dramatic learning curve. Life was showing itself to me in facets that I could either digest or ignore to my peril. As I fumbled through the matrix of young adulthood, the mysteries were being broken down to me as if I was looking at it through a kaleidescope and I was able to put together some rather lucid mystical connections at this time despite my emotional immaturity. The first major “law of reality” I learned is that free will exists, or more basically, what you reap is what you sow.

I had a new gig as an English teacher and a very small time window to get from my last class to my job. I had therefore decided a bicycle would get me to my job in the shortest amount of time. I didn´t have any money to buy one and felt that I should be able to casually come by one if I looked hard enough.  (Please try to refrain from judging my behavior here- I am laying it all out for you for your benefit, I am not proud of this.)  Sure enough, one day up in the Mile End neighbourhood I walked past a pharmacy with a ten-speed propped up against the bricks.  The bike was unlocked and not in a new enough condition to convince me that what I was doing was wrong, so I knicked the bike and pedaled away. Montreal is full of daunting hills- the city is named after the massive mountain that protrudes from its centre. It was raining that day and I soon discovered that this swift, weightless bike had no brakes.  I deferred any analysis of this irony  to Murphy´s Law and somehow managed to get the bike safely home. The next day I took it to a shop to have the brakes reparied, costing me about $7.

Days went by and the bike did the job of getting me to from point A to B on time. One day I parked it as usual outside of the music building and found a seat in the lecture hall for my History of Jazz class.  When the class filled up some ten minutes later, a smallish young man plopped down next to me and excitedly blurted, “Hey. You  won´t believe this.  I had my bike stolen two weeks ago and I just saw it parked outside. The person who stole it has to be in this class”.

Really?” I feigned incredulity.  “That´s crazy. Where was it stolen?”

“On Bernard Street”.

My heart started to pound in my chest as my fears were confirmed. What were the odds that the bike I had stolen would belong to a fellow classmate now sitting beside me and recounting the whole affair? “So, what are you gonna do?” I  asked. He said he planned to wait outside and approach the thief when he went to retrieve the bike.  I was fully aware of the choice I now had to reveal to this student that I was the one who had stolen his bike, yet I was too cowardly to come clean and too stubborn to give up the bike I was now benefitting from.  Guilt lingered throughout the whole 90 minute class and I fought with the angel and devil sitting on either shoulder. Now I ask why I didn´t just listen to my feelings.

After class I left the lecture hall and crossed the street to the music library, where inside I found a seat by the window looking onto the bicycles. I watched my classmate smoke endless cigarettes, his face becoming more and more despondent as he waited for the bike thief to show up. After two hours he had finally had enough and abandoned his stakeout.  How truly beastly I was, that after I had safely retrieved the bike, I picked up a can of spray paint on the way home.  Needless to say, I never parked the bike at the music building again.

Months went by and the guilt that comes with doing something wrong but not getting caught for it faded. Until one day I was forced to look at what I had done with different eyes.  Some people may call it sheer bad luck, but it was no such thing for me.  I told you that as a rather stubborn student of the mysteries, my soul often would resort to hitting me over the head with a wooden plank after its efforts to whisper words of wisdom into my ear went unheeded. Like a spoiled brat, I refused to believe that there were consequences for my actions. I thought I could just do what I wanted.  Well, I found out I could do what I wanted, but consequences would come, either way.

It was a Monday and I had a final exam for a Contemporary English Poetry. In fact it was the last exam I needed to take to graduate from my Bachelor of Arts program.  This exam could not be missed because I had already asked for a deferral due to my failure to accept the responsibilities of being a student, namely studying.  Naturally I woke up late on the day of this exam.  As I passed one of my roommates in the hallway, he suggested I take my bike to school. “You´ll only be ten minutes late”.  Right, I thought, take the bike, good idea.  In a sleep-addled panic (and somewhat hungover, to tell the truth), I crossed the park and began the steep descent from Mount Royal on Avenue du Parc towards the school “ghetto”.  This consisted of a long and narrow concrete ramp with a guardrail meant to keep any pedestrians from being wind-blown into oncoming traffic of the busy parkway below.  As I entered the ramp I hit a small stone, which began immediately the struggle to maintain control the bike. In the sharp descent I had to consciously steer in the direction of the bridge´s concrete buttress to avoid being thrown over the guardrail onto the highway.  The impact was stunning: I totaled the front end of my bike and felt a rather large goose-egg forming on my temple.

I proceeded to walk down the rest of the ramp with the bike in tow, determined to attend my exam, despite many of the pedestrians walking up the ramp who kept stopping me to ask if I was alright.  It wasn´t until the fourth one personally escorted me to a clinic in the mall at the bottom of the ramp that I knew why everyone had been so concerned. There was blood pouring down my face! (I had been wearing a red sweatshirt) By the time my stitches were sewn up and I was released, the time window to write my final exam had closed.  I did have a doctor´s note, but since I had already deferred it once before, I was forced to re-do the entire two-semester class the following year. This meant that I wouldn´t be able to graduate that year.

Was the accident related to my having stolen the bike? It might have been just the result of not being awake enough (or sober enough) to ride it.  But since the accident, I have had FOUR bicycles stolen and one other minor accident where I was thrown over a car. It kinda makes you wonder. Duh.

I experienced a bout of sciatica right after the bike accident so that I was laid up for a few days. During that time I had plenty of time to think about the direction my life was taking and what kinds of calibration manoeuvres were prudent.  I began to entertain mystical questions of cause and effect and whether there was such thing as a punishable god.  After much deliberation, I felt that I had even been given a compassionate opportunity (by the universe, I still didn´t believe in my own creative power at that time) to make things right, yet my refusal to do so meant that I had to experience what I put out there.  I learned that it was wrong to steal and I never stole anything else in my life again. But more importantly, I learned that in the fabric of the universe the charge of actions and thoughts have a ripple effect.  Maybe it was dumb of me to never have realized this before, you think. But having spent most of my teens reading Sartre and Camus, I was not only an atheist but in my university years, a nihilist. I did not entertain thoughts of intelligent design. Life just happened to you regardless of your moral proclivities. Murderers got away scott free it seemed, while innocents and do-gooders were jailed and raped and bombed to smithereens.

Now get this.  It wasn´t until this past summer, in 2011, that I really FELT the repercussions of having stolen a bike. Yes, I made all the appropriate mental connections and I learned blah blah blah. My fifth bicycle, a beautiful Dutsch style white city cruiser, was stolen outside my apartment building during the night. I cried for 2 days. It still upsets me so much that I refuse to buy another one. We had a relationship that involved my riding the bike through the city and around the lakes, my feeling free, the wind blowing through my hair…..  Sigh.

Got any great moral of the stories?  Leave a comment!

Love Croaker.

Next Workshop- Sacral Chakra

The next Chakra clearing workshop will be on Feb 18th (Saturday) at 17 h at my home in Wedding near Leopold Platz.  It is specifically designed for beginners. You don´t need to know anything about meditation or chakras to take part.

The workshop begins by learning how to breathe properly, which will assist you during the guided meditation that comes next. During that meditation, you´ll be talked through an exercise to help you clear fear patterns from your etheric body.

The rest of the workshop focuses on the Sacral (2nd) Chakra. We will specifically identify the issues releated to 2nd Chakra imbalances and I will bring to light different techniques to help clear those blockages.

The cost is 5 euros and you must reserve a spot. I do not want to have a large workshop, so please only reserve your spot if you are serious about coming. If you don´t come it´s quite unfair to the ones I had to reject to keep the numbers small (and cosy).  Please come with exact change.

Last month I received numerous emails from people wanting full details for this workshop.  For 5 € I think you can afford to take a risk and give it a try. If you feel drawn to it,  just go for it!

The 2nd chakra relates to:  abandonment issues, envy, addictions and compulsive behavior, sexual issues, guilt, and anxiety especially related to self worth.  Low self-esteem fluctuating with feelings of superiority is the biggest indicator of a 2nd chakra blockage.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Love  Croaker.

Compassionate Perspective

I heard a great joke the other day:  How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?  One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.  I mention this only because I expect a bit of a backlash from this article. We are talking about healing here and getting over issues that have stunted our growth and happiness in this lifetime. Naturally, if you have gone through something very traumatic, such as in sexual abuse by a parent, it is important that you acknowledge that yes, your abuser DID fail you as a parent. You need to process this and I realize it takes time. But you must also want to heal, and the biggest challenge to you will be letting go of your familiar pain. This article addresses the perspective that can help you with this letting go stage in your healing.

Last week I promised to give you some personal examples of how turning inward and asking questions can produce visible improvements in your life. This post will focus on one of the first experiences I had which liberated me from a mental nightmare I was perpetuating. I don´t think when it happened that I realized it was a product of meditation, but I did appreciate that having asked transcendental questions and thinking differently about my interactions with people produced my A-ha! moment. I remember it so clearly because I was sorting through some old papers in my room when I had this brainwave of an idea that clicked. I looked up from what I was doing and just thought, “Wow, that´s it.”

I was twenty four and in the throes of anger and frustration over the very strained relationship I had with my father. Dad and I still don´t see eye to eye on hardly anything but I can truly say that I love my dad and have processed any anger or resentment that I used to have towards him for not accepting me  for who I am. This major issue in my life was almost completely resolved by a mental realization that came to me while my conscious mind was busy doing a mundane task and I was in a state better suited to receiving messages from my subconscious mind.

For months I had been trying to look at the situation with my dad in a different way, asking all sorts of funny questions- so it´s obvious that my subconscious was working on it, too, on its own time. You now may be saying, Croaker, you´re talking psychology, not spirituality, but my argument is that my focused thinking on the dynamic between me and my dad, asking myself WHY my dad didn´t accept me was what gave me an answer. I wasn´t thinking in psychological terms. It was an existential or mystical question. What was the bigger picture, or the spiritual reason for our strained relationship?

I was 24 when I realized that my dad was his own person. This seems a bit late to me, but it was a pivotal turning point for me in my development and not some fleeting thought.  Dad has his own value system, a different working paradigm than me,  even his brain is different! I thought. What sense does it make to project my own values and ideals onto him? It is illogical to project your own values onto someone with a different set of values and  be disappointed when he doesn´t share or respect them.  He is his own person.  And his rejecting me and my values are nothing personal because he just can´t work with them. They don´t fit into his paradigm.

It´s important that you understand what I mean by not taking it personally.  If my dad didn´t accept my values about money or my career aspirations or even how I interacted with men, it just meant that he couldn´t understand me.  We didn´t jive.  But it doesn´t have to be personal. The problem is that I am his daughter and in this role I was offended. My social expectations told me that a father is supposed to accept his daughter and that was called love.  My father came from a different generation which believed a daughter´s role was to honor the father regardless of his behavior and that was called love. It was these limiting roles that made things personal. Once I was able to transcend that kind of thinking, (and allowing myself to be temporarily angry and hurt), I had an elevated perspective.

So why is this spiritual? It transcends regular psychology because I show compassion towards my father in acknowledging his personality and the context in which he developed as a person; not only criticising his ability to conform to a socially constructed role.

Personality is an amalgamation of genetic traits, experience, tastes, tendencies, mannerisms and moral values. It is not the same thing as the mind and it needs to be acknowledged with more compassion.   We already know that personality doesn´t reside in the mind. Do handicapped children with reduced mental functioning have personalities? Of course they do! What about alzheimer´s patients, do they lose their personality along with their memories? And what of toddlers, whose brains have not formed enough synaptic connections for them to function independently?

No-one has been able to map personality onto the brain and paranormal studies show that deceased people who communicate beyond the veil resonate their personality.  The great Carl Jung was the first psychologist to address morality in a psychological context and ended up admitting that he believed in the soul. As children our morals develop from social context but as we self-actualize, or become our own people with our own personalities, we develop our own morals, based on a belief in certain ideals that transcend logic.

So the importance of personality, of looking at behaviors through that compassionate lens, helps us to transcend our day to day interactions with people, which to me  fits the definition of spiritual.  The fact that for one bright moment I contemplated my father not as a father in his role but as an individual with his own personality and past experiences intact is what then allowed me to heal that relationship. Suddenly I had perspective.

I thought, okay, you can´t take experiences away from a person- experience affects us deeply.  It’s actually proof that we don´t exist in a vacuum; our environments DO shape who we are; this has been proven time and again in psychological studies.  How have his experiences shaped his behavior towards me?  What does he have to learn in this lifetime?  How do I fit into that gestalt?  This is compassion. And so I let him be who he was, naked of the father role for a moment as I looked at our relationship in a spiritual context.

Dad and I are tied by biology, but that doesn´t mean we should be oppressed by those roles.  (In fact, family ties offer some of the most important clues to helping us sort out our life issues.) Once I relaxed the father-daughter role I could relax myself. I am who I am. I am not a bad person.  I am not a bad daughter, that´s just a psychological shoe-box.  He´s not a bad father, he is just him.  Suddenly the pressure is off.  It´s as if I had a friend who is a doctor and I only acknowledged him in his doctor role. Do I disregard his personality?  That´s rather unfair, he is more dimensional than that! And so we need to liberate our closest friends and families from their roles in our lives and interact with them from the fulcrum of our mature personalities, which take into account transcendental ideas about the nature of our relationships.

Who has had the experience of having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) who was a terrible boyfriend, who couldn´t fulfill your expectations of him in that role, but actually was a great person?  You stop sleeping together, you stop acting boyfriend-girlfriend and suddenly the fog lifts and you see that person for who he really is.  Wonderful! You have a new best friend and you get on famously.  Perspective back in  place, you enjoy each other´s company without the limiting paramaters or expectations of the girlfriend-boyfriend role.

Again, this is not just a psychological trick but a spiritual perspective. You compassionately allow the other person to transcend a psychological category and accept them for the entire “soul”, together with their psychological flaws and idiosynracies.

From here you can really begin to deepen your relationships and “forgive others” (although most transgressions come from our expectations of what is socially acceptable. Most people have nothing to be “forgiven” for.)  Once you transcend the borders of what´s socially or collectively acceptable and learn to interact on what is personally acceptable to your adult emotions and your values, then you enter the realm of  humane relationships, from which a lot of healing and learning can begin to take place.

The Secret Garden

I want to let you in on a secret:  saying “I do” to Spirit can reward you in myriad ways and get you back on track after a major life change or upheaval. I have devoted a large part of my life to talking about spirituality and living it as an example to others because of all the benefits I draw from it. This article will be an attempt to reveal some of the ways that the same magic can rub off on you.

First, you should know that I came to spirit in a very dramatic way (one day I just might find the courage to share it on this blog) and it wasn´t like a hobby that I just took up out of boredom. Let´s just say that my soul woke me up not by whispering into my ear, but by throwing me off a building- and my subsequent trips to psychics, bookstores, crystal shops,  and alternative therapists were emergency measures. Like Humpty Dumpty, I was very broken- I was in a place I had never been before and I needed a lot of help finding my way around. I can say without a doubt that entering the world of spirit gave me an emotional and psychological wellbeing I never even knew was possible.

Your story might be quite different. But usually people come to Spirit, or Spirit calls them, out of some deep dark place.  There´s a great quote by Leonard Cohen, “The crack is where the light gets in”.  Sometimes we need to be near rock bottom before we are ready to embark upon a path that we would otherwise never have considered. I know stories of numerous people who´ve told me how the tugging of their soul brought them to seek out a new spiritual tone.  There were questions and doubts and feelings that just couldn´t be pushed down anymore. And once they were addressed and allowed to blossom, these people claimed that a feeling happier and a “more meaningful existence” were the most visible results.

So the first question I´m going to ask is, “Are you happy?”  Or do you find yourself every now and again entering some sort of phase where you question your life, your relationships, your career, your lifestyle, your habits? While you may think this is just another psychological phase similar to a mid-life crisis or the big 3-0, it can also mark the beginning of your initiation into spiritual adulthood.  These types of questions come from your Spirit. It is your soul´s way of getting you to notice it.

But let´s start with something a bit lighter.  I have to say it, I can´t hold it in anymore.  Do you know how much you are missing out?  Do you?  Do you?

We are physical beings with limbs and organs and skin and bones; we are mental beings with a brain that enables us to create and analyse, do math, communicate, and even contemplate ourselves;  we are emotional creatures who cry during films and help others in need; and….. Wait, is that it? Are we really only 3-dimensional creatures?  Where does the soul come into play?

There´s nothing much about spirituality on TV or in school, unless we´re talking dumping our coins onto a plate and blindly reciting prayers (not the same). Naturally there is information about spirituality (on the internet, for example) because it exists as an idea. It´s just not prevalent in our society. We are not conditioned through media or even through our families to contemplate our divine nature. As westerners, we are, rather, mass-hypnotized into shopping and screwing and eating and playing. But not so much into philosophizing or questioning our values or being charitable.  There´s a whole other world out there! Another dimension to the human experience and many people are completely oblivious to it.  Now I ask you, don´t you think you might be missing out on something?

I´m not trying to make you repent or go all puritan on you. That´s not what you are missing and actually the whole idea of Spirituality is often misunderstood. I´m not talking about religion or following some sort of order with saints and prayers and all that jazz. Nor am I saying you have to move to an ashram, walk to Santiago de Compostela, stop drinking coffee (like some hard core Mormons) or quit reading fashion magazines.  The dimension that you are missing out is YOU.  A secret you. Another layer of you. It is a mysteriously deep, eternally evolving, entirely private inner sanctuary.  It is the place where you get to really know who you are and indulge in all sorts of “me time”. And there´s only one real pre-requisite.  You have to spend time there.

The secret garden that comprises spiritual practice will leave you wanting more. Imagine being able to converse with a part of you that always knows best, that refreshes you each time you visit it and that makes you feel more “human”.  The appeal of turning inwards never really registered for me on a conscious level until much later on.  I saw the benefits and that kept me chugging along, through obstacles and dramas and mini-crises of emotional healing that are par for the course.  For the purpose of this article I have been analysing spirituality critically, looking for reasons why I like it so much.  I like the privacy that my spiritual life offers. I go into a world that no-one knows about, no-one else can enter. Only I know what my values really are, what my life lessons are, how I perceive what is going on around me, how I choose to behave in any given moment. These are all private moments that make me feel much more connected to myself. I am discovering what makes me tick, I am celebrating what I have learnt by contemplating it and applying that knowledge towards future interactions and situations. I´m having my own little “me” party on an invisible level and as a result I am gaining wisdom about the human experience, which is very elevating.

I would call the “secret garden” component of spirituality its unique selling point. It enables you to deepen your personality and hone it, and honing your personality is what life is all about. Conscious evolution and striving to be “one with all that is” does not mean discarding the personality. That´s why it´s so challenging.  Spirituality is not about killing the ego off and becoming a generic saint with no unique energy signature. We know this because life after death experiences and contact with departed souls have shown that the personality is transcendent of time and space; it survives death and it is part of the soul.  Besides, what would be the point of individual existence (as opposed to collective) if personality had no merit?

I do not want to get overly esoteric at this point.  The thing is, learning to meditate and contemplate life´s moments is not hard at all, and that´s where you should begin.  It is one thing for me to write about it and another for you to experience it and discover the momentum it carries for you as an individual.

Where can meditation lead you? To increased creativity, for one. When you learn to relax and put the conscious mind away during meditation, you open yourself up.  You can draw connections and inspiration from a deep space that is not fettered by mundane thoughts and logical, linear assumptions.

Secondly, learning to contemplate and ask questions about your relationships, about your feelings, about where things originate and why things might be the way they are (whether from a spiritual or psychological angle) offers you incredible perspective. Perspective that literally can change your life for the better and bring you more understanding of what you are doing on this planet at this time, which in turn teaches you how to let go of unhelpful thought patterns or conditioning and to go with the flow of your life. This alleviates anxiety, depression, feelings of helplessness and anger that normally accompany control issues.

The next part of this post will go further into the advantages of a spiritual life by looking at how one can begin this type of questioning and contemplation. I will be using personal examples to show you exactly how spirituality, in all its very organic, human facets can improve your quality of life in very tangible ways.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article as much as I did writing it. If you would like to see an article on a specific topic or question you may have, please feel free to leave a comment.  I´ll do my best to give you a thoughtful answer as soon as I can.

Have a great week,

Love Croaker.

Year of the Dragon Initative

A friend of mine just told me that it´s Year of the Dragon. I wasn´t surprised to hear this, it being 2012 and all, but I was surprised that I hadn´t noticed. Jeez, where have I been?  When I thought about it a little more, it made me want to level with you about something I´ve been working on.  Are you ready? The readership of this baby blog of mine is changing.  But it´s ALL GOOD.

I can´t ignore it any more- My Highest Self is urging me to is address “young souls” and play a more active role in writing for a larger audience. My dear readers, you also have a role to play in this initiative as you share links and “like” my posts and help your friends to listen to the tugging of their souls.

The next post has been in the queue for quite a while and I am going to apologize in advance for its length. So as to not overhwelm you, the article will be presented in parts.  But in fact I am working on compiling a series of articles for spiritual beginners, or “young souls”.  Starseeds, indigos, crystals and “old souls” really don´t need so much help in the form of articles and workshops anymore now because they have come so far. Give yourselves a pat on the back, guys! Haven´t you noticed that you gloss over channeled articles or that most of the stuff you find on the internet is just the same old being re-hashed out? You know this stuff already. The rest is all tweaking and refining, like polishing a diamond.

Instead I will be publishing a set of articles for a new target group: people with no real clear idea of their own spirituality.  Being in the last year before ascension is due to take place, it´s no wonder that I am feeling pushed to share some basics with a larger audience.  So, dear reader,  you might not find these  next posts in-line with my others, but instead of losing you I hope that you´ll visit me often in your efforts to help others with their ascension processes.  You can do that by sending these posts to your friends, family and protégés. The Apocalypse of New and Different is the first of the set as it is an introduction to the topic of ascension, written in plain English and not a bunch of mumbo-jumbo.

I´m really excited about these new articles and hope that you find them useful, clear and engaging enough to use as springboards for discussion or simply as friendly nudgings to people you care about who you think are ready for this type of information.   I thank you so much for being part of this intiative and for receiving these gifts I offer because you know, the whole fun and beauty of an energetic exchange is in the acceptance of the gift.

Let´s have a great Year of the Dragon, doing our best to help others navigate a year bound to be dramatic with change.

Love Croaker.




Get to the Root of It

There´s just ONE space left for the amazing Root Chakra Clearing Workshop with the beginner´s meditation bonus.  Join us on Sunday at 5pm at my home in Wedding for only 5 €.  You can hardly get anything that lasts for 5 € anymore (except maybe a bunch of tulips).  Contact me to reserve your spot!   This one will be worth it as the other chakra clearing workshops build on the “root”.